I should have quit med school After the first year Coming close to it as I did Dreaming of the combo Psych, Phil & English Litt. On offer at nearby Nizam's College But, damned be destiny Or was it my own immaturity And lack of courage Admiring by then as I did Mahesh Murthy who quit engineering And was in the ad world. Writing poetry in anatomy dissection hall I had pretensions to being A poet and a man of letters Though what I was mostly at that time Was one uncomfy with his libido And somewhat a bit caught up Between romantic longings And the pull of renunciation Reading as I did by then Jiddu, RK and Ramana And I later understood I did not understand them fully then. Anat, physio and biochem Didn't stimulate my intellect And that stimulation I needed To satisfy my need to know About myself And the world around me But all I got to do Was listen to uninspiring lecturers On boring topics Like blood, urine and enzymes. Somewhere along the line As I was busy and caught up In these dilemmas I seemed to like a classmate But lacked the maturity to know At least at that time That my being drawn to her And the seeking of Truth Need not be at loggerheads And so that relationship Never took off Though now I realize As far as relationships go They are not All that they are cranked up to be There's so much freedom and innocence In being alone, that I wonder How we misread our needs in youth Or maybe youth has different needs Than me now with grey hair. I envied my friends at Nizam's Who I would meet Many an evening when I hardly read Any medical textbooks Who would talk to me of Plato And prisoner's dilemma And made me so agonizingly aware Of what I was missing. Med school was one long Winter of despair With no spring of hope. I did break free From the shackles of medicine But, those memories have left a scar And a bad taste in the mouth So that when I meet these days My med school buddies I hardly am amused But rather positively distressed Hearing them talk So fondly of their med school days.